goodbye home, hello $40 taxi rides

sunday, 22nd of september, 2013

day 21 of 365

i had a conversation maybe about a week or two ago that lead me to start thinking about what it means to actually live, rather than simply being alive. similar to Aristotle's life and good life, i think there is something that actually truly does distinguish living from life.

for everyone what it means to live is no doubt very different, yet i can't help but feel that the key, at least for me, is to understand our finitude. we are temporary, time rushes by, and, if we aren't careful, all we're left with is goosebumps from moments that have already passed. i reckon we ought to embrace it - take pleasure in the little things, but not get hung up on them.  change happens, life is in a constant state of flux, and it's selfish to hang on to what life once was.  sometimes things don't go according to plan, but maybe all we can do is try to enjoy the spontaneity of life.

i've found a lot of introspection in the past few weeks,  looking at life through the camera lens.  this place, this blog, is not for everyone, or anyone - mainly, it is for me.  i'm learning about colour, shape, composition and the prevalence of beauty in so many moments - almost learning to be more present.  and i am also learning about myself - there have been good days, bad days, anxious days and ecstatic days in the past 3 weeks.  

but i believe more and more that there is beauty in every moment, every glance - even in the hardest glances.  maybe i think that there is a simple kind of uninhibited beauty in emotion itself. just as the poet may manipulate the same words that are so plainly and arbitrarily used in a dictionary, i hope that i too may one day capture emotions, and the beauty of that emotion whatever it may be, in photographs. or maybe in art itself.  i'm trying. trying and finding that it's actually quite peaceful to have my camera with me, the quick click-and-capture is an instant type of emotional release which camouflages emotion behind visual imagery and a snapshot of 'real-life' - a visual metaphor that maybe only i understand? i don't know.

already, within 3 weeks, there are images that repeat, tales of the routine of daily life, the 'grind' and waking up going to the same places day-after-day.  what role does routine play in actually living?  i wonder if it's a comfort that is also slightly an entrapment...? hmm.

i also wonder what this project will achieve.  will i become more creative from engaging in something creative everyday? will my photos improve?  why am i even taking some of these photos - as a memory-jogger, or to create something of artistic value? will this become a visual diary, or a visual poem?

  if i make it to 365 days, i think i'd like to do an exhibition somwhere, somehow. 

to the next 3 weeks. 

xxx